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The first time I heard that statement ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’, it was in relation to the book by Susan Jeffers. A very popular book back in the early 80’s when the world was turning ‘new-age’. That’s what holistic living was called then. I remember being very triggered by it as it sounded really strong.
Language is very important, I am constantly working on mine, not just the bad language I can sometimesuse, but everyday expressive language. How the message is delivered is really important. Like I just said, it can sound like an order, or it could be made to sound like a suggestion just by changing the language.
No criticism to the author, but to me and its only me, it sounded like an order. It also sounded like if I couldn’t do it then I had failed in some way.
A couple of weeks ago, I chose to ‘heal’ the fear and then do it anyway!
I’m going to tell you a little story about an experience I had when I was very young, so we are going back to five decades ago!
At that time back in the last century, the health service visited the schools and the doctor got to examine you and the vaccination program was delivered in the same way. However, a visit to the dentist was also suggested and I have to tell you it was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
The dentist on duty was a very tall thin lady, well that’s how she seemed to me at the time. She had grey curly hair and wore a white coat. Miss O’Keefe,was her name, her assistant had white hair and piercing blue eyes. Those eyes burned into my soul.Her name was Miss O’Reilly. Both had misery written all over their faces. Nothing welcoming, just get it done and over with and a no-nonsense approach, which in fairness was quite a usual way to be back then.
I was brought into the dentist’s room; my mother was not allowed to come in with me. The first thing I saw was this horrible ugly black chair in the middle of the floor, with a green marble tray attached to an arm that she pulled over to display all sorts of drill heads and metal items that suggested to me she might poke my mouth with. The clinical smell and the sound of the equipment I found just terrifying.
‘Get up on that chair’ and I was pushed in the direction of the chair, that was how I was instructed. I very reluctantly got up on the chair, now I’m small so I was a petite little ten-year-old. I climbed up and sat in the chair absolutely quaking in my boots. She then proceeded to examine me.
‘Open your mouth child’ next instruction. I was up the walls. She prodded around as I suspected she would, and I was so fearful that she would cause me pain that I started to protest, by moving around in the chair and fidgeting. ‘Sit easy child’ was the next instruction, with a wicked facial expression.
She decided to fill a back tooth and I decided I was getting out of the chair. Well – her knee went onto my chest and in went the puff of lidocaine and then the injection. So, so, painful. I’m hysterically screaming at this point.
She continued to work with me screaming and her holding my mouth open with one hand and drilling with the other with her knee still on my chest. The assistant at this stage has my arms pinned to the chair so I can’t move anyway.
The work finally finished, and I almost fell off the chair. I cried so hard I thought I would be sick.
I couldn’t tell my mother, for fear that I would come across as a coward, so I didn’t say anything. Just cried all the way home and of course, being the very brave woman that my mother was, I was told to stop being such a baby wasn’t I grand?
As I grew up, I had many complications with dental treatments, extractions were a nightmare, two dry sockets and two shattered bone incidents. So having regular visits to the dentist was certainly not on my list of priorities. Although I did look after my teeth to the best of my ability, orders from the mammy.
So here we are in the 21st century, training methods and understanding of psychological development has changed and things have certainly improved.
But with age and wear and tear some of my teeth started to break and I was missing a couple.
Hearing my mothers’ words in my ears, the three best things you can possibly have to your credit are -
Good posture
Good diction
Good teeth
So, I went on an adventure to have my missing teeth replaced. In my conscious mind I wanted them done. But my subconscious had other ideas. I was so terrified, but I wanted them done, I did some serious work on my mindset, had some QTT with my buddy, hypnotherapy with another and wait for it the best one of all, asked for something to relax me before I went. I don’t do over the counter drugs or Valium but boy I was delighted to be given some. It was waiting for me at the clinic when I got there and happy days, I am so with the work, all done and didn’t need Valium after the first day.
Going back to the first statement, I definitely did not want to feel that fear that I first felt when I was a small child ever again.
So, I chose to look at the emotions I experienced rather than go back to the incident and dig it all up again.
I identified where it initially came from and did a huge release on it, along with lots of other tip’s tools and techniques to help me get through the difficulties, or what I perceived the difficulties might be.
I am really happy with myself, that I first asked for help to heal the fear, so I admitted it was bigger than me, that I also dipped into the modern medicine bag for help, that’s what complementary therapy is all about and I fortunately attracted a really kind dental technician/superhero Igor that was also a perfectionist too, to help me to achieve my plan.
I put it to you dear people, don’t just jump into that fear, get help to look at it, acknowledge what needs to be healed and then proceed with your plan.
Now I can say I have a changed my mindset on visits to the dentist. I am now happy to go and have my check-ups and not be dreading the experience.
But it took some work, but it’s all possible. Its only 56 years later and the mindset could be changed.
My Super Hero Igor: https://www.instagram.com/igorkosmina/?hl=en
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